On the Account of Falling in Love

It has been long since the last time my face blushing on the way home. It has been long since the last time I read my phone with my heart beating so fast. It has been long since the last time I fell in love so tenderly with a friend of mine. I concede that it took too long for me to move on. As well as to find someone I admire dearly. I believe love is too grand to be spent out within ordinary occassion. I believe one should not fall in love with just everyone they find attractive. I believe one cannot just find a person they decide to fall in love with in just everywhere, or any daily places they go. I believe love is too grand to be wasted on temporary crush we find confusing with love at the first sight.

It took me too long to connect the lost piece. And I am in no rush in finding one. If I were to find the lost one, I would like it to be something that last longer than the count of months. If I were to be met with the lost piece, I'd like us to be nonchalantly got ourselves sunk within the belief that because it takes so long for us to be met, hence it's only us who can enjoy the luxury of loving, without others' knowledge. If I were to be met with the connecting puzzle, I would like us to spend times in realizing that it is happening, so that we could cherish the moment better.

I don't envy lovebirds along the way of my searching the one, neither do I suffer in the absence of someone who could talk for hours with me about galaxy and types of tofu. I am a complicated being who believes that in the midst of desperation of love, it is so wrong to just be with every possible guy we can be with. During the course of waiting, I would like to tell the world that I am perfectly fine for being single cause it does no harm for me. Neither it costs something I'd regret afterwards.

I do enjoy admiring people I find attractive. I love to see the sparks in his eyes when he talks about the things he knows best. I enjoy watching people smiling and laughing about the cheesiest jokes, I love to observe people on how they react when they got upset, or annoyed, or sad. I love to learn about things that saddens them, so I would refrain myself from doing it. I love how when i got interested in someone, I feel like I want to jump and laugh my lungs out for being happy and enchanted at the same time. I do admire people easily, But I guess I stop earlier than everyone who spend their times to have a crush on that particular person. 

Someone sent this quote to me,

 There's so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn't. There's a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it does not need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself with love. Not someone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, leave notes on libarary books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don't romanticize life like you can't live without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn't any less beautiful. I promise.
-Emery Allen

Because there is just so much things in life for us to learn better and know further. I fall in love with a truckload of words on my favorite author's book. I fall in love with the after rain smell. I fall in love with the smell of newly brewed coffee, and how people enjoy their coffee with their loved ones, books, or even assignments. I fall in love with solitude. I fall in love with the time I spend alone contemplating about life and realizing that I am nothing without Allah. I fall in love with the way my Dad looked me in the eye every time I bid salam on my way to Jatinangor. I fall in love with the way my Mum caress my hair when I'm half asleep and how she kissed my cheek all at once. I fall in love with the way my brother recite Azan and Quran everyday. I do not find any reason as to why I am in a shortage of loving. Or lack thereof.

I still have plenty time to learn about my favorite subjects and broaden my knowledge. I have plenty time to finish my books and feel relieved for having it read. I still have to know myself better and how to feel content for being a whole.

I love how I feel enchanted when I admire someone. I love how I got a name I barely learn wander in my pre-sleep thought. I love how I wake up getting excited to meet the person I love to talk to. But I guess I should put an end to my habit for always hastily admire a person I find attractive. Not because I am afraid, but simply because I believe that I should not romanticize the feeling of wanting to have someone to talk to or to be with. I want to accept my flaws. I want to love myself better and be content with its whole being.

There is so much to discover a long the way.

and love, if you really believe in sincerity, will find its way.