Untitled?

Have you ever thought of a different version of your life? Like if I were given a chance to re-create every single thing in my life, I would've made it resemblance to the very first thing that pops up in my mind when I heard a word. For example, school.

When I was still in kindergarten I was overwhelmingly excited about going to Elementary school. Because every time I watched Nobita got dragged out from the class I used to murmur to myself, if only I were Nobita, I would've tried my best to beat Dikisuki. And my mind set about school is exactly the same like Nobita's. Or any Japanese Cartoon aired in TV. But things happened on the first day I went to school. 'This is not what I imagined! The blackboard is not green anymore. We can't open the desk and put our books inside it like what Dulce Maria did! The teacher is not wearing a tight skirt or a glasses with chains anymore! what is this? i thought every place in this world should be exactly alike!'

But that was not what I said, btw. It's just me being exaggerated in describing things, haha.

Let's just test yourself, when you heard a word cafe, what would be on your mind?

To me, Cafe is a place where all the waiters and waitress wear a vest, or a clothe that covers up the forth part of their body (You know, something that has to be tied around your neck and waist) and the menu will be displayed in a mini blackboard, when I look outside there will be bicycle parked all along the sidewalk, no motorcycle just a plenty cars, a round table on the outside, people who's busy writing and typing and talking on their phones, and also a teamwork, whose table fills with truckloads of paperwork. ME GUSTA.

I always exhaust myself by thinking about things I shouldn't have. Something which doesn't need any explanation. But my brain is always being thirsty of answers. I just somehow can't accept that some thing just simply happens, simply created, or such a given.But the more I think about it the more I get puzzled by my own doings.

I used to make excuses every time I fail doing something. E.g: studying. If I get bad scores, what I'll do afterward is not studying harder, I use to lay myself upon the floor/couch/bed, staring at the roof for a half hour, and after that I'll listen to songs. I've got to wait the 'right' song being played before I finally realize, "Nah, I should've studied harder. But the room seems too lousy. And I also need to buy some snacks." GOTCHA! Instead of studying I'll go to mini market and go cycling.

Have you ever thought about this? About every human being satisfied for what they have had. I always wonder If those people who live in London, working in a kind of world class company, have this kind of mindset "My life is complete. London is the best place. And I've had marvelous job others won't probably get." But if you ever read my post about Russel, He used to live in Manchester and moved to London. He said he disliked his hometown, for its unbearable weather and about how it's so rare to witness the sun shines. Even in the summer, it feels a little cold (for me, who lives in a tropic place, of course it's not impossible to get numb in summer) See, I guess it's a human nature to think that there's always something which doesn't on its right place in their life.

That's why life needs a goal.

You just can't simply live for present. You're currently creating your future right at this moment. That is the reason why we go to school. Why we do prayers. Why we have dreams. Why we need a rest. Why we need people to share. The root is right there, because we need to achieve our goal. Can you imagine how would our life be without a goal?

And as I write this sentence I just realized that this post is totally pointless.