July 08, 2012


Maybe it's time for me to grow up. To aside my selfish and pay attention to the surroundings. It's time to be more sensitive and understand some circumstance. To treat people friendly by being a debonair person. It's time to act like my age, correct that, we don't need to wait for another year to be mature right? Even though growing older doesn't make you growing up either.

To realize that friends slowly won't be there to listen to my whining, forces me to solve my own problems. To realize that I'm a first daughter and I have to be an example of good to my bro, turns me into a responsible person, hopefully.

But there will always be a time where my bro is better than me, in so freaking many things. And that sucks. Here goes the story..

My bro just got accepted at one of favorite senior high school in bandung. It's a school with an international basic education, which is a neighbor of a school I failed to get accepted. Imagine how proud my parents are. Furthermore, he won a speech contest in sundanese at the province 3 months ago. And another speech contest competition in some university. I was also proud at first but then an abundant angst invade me. What if i couldn't make it next year? What if my report card became worse? and those what ifs pops up every time people ask about where will I continue to study.

And I just got a hair cut.

As short as Emma Watson's.

Who would care anyway since I'm wearing a veil, haha.

That was a brief gasp of my anxiety. Well, when life gives you lemon, just make a lemonade, right? But the thing is I'm a kind of person who would plant a disguise lemon field. I don't use to space out myself from problems. I am an over thinker. I think about everything too much. Even about an eraser. I will spend ten minutes to choose what kind of eraser I need.

To tell the truth, I'm at my disadvantage of that habits nowadays. It stressed me. The fact that I don't just let go every single thing which comes to me has just turned me into a drama queen. Maybe this is why I don't have a crush on anyone.

So we just arrived at the conclusion paragraph. Where people write a truckloads of sentences to assure themselves about their decision. But just a moment ago I realized that I have just made mine at the very first paragraph. And I realized that I'm using too much realize in this post. I know, I won't use it anymore since I realized that my vocab sucks. Oh, I just used it.

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