January 21, 2011


Teenagers love being labile. They are yes then they are No. So do me. I am cheerful at once but i cry a moment later. I feel lyk a mess. I feel lyk i mess my self. I feel lyk a puppy looks for its mother but no one cares. I feel lyk the world completely hates me. I feel lyk it will never be nice to me. I feel lyk everything i try to be, every dreams i try to reach, just getting blind by my mistaken. By my nonsense behave. I feel lyk i lost my bestfriends. Who used to be with me whenever i need them. Now on, my calls have never been longer than a minute. What we talk is just abt how-are-you-im-fine. I never tell 'em that i try so hard to be okay. I try so hard to be okay w/o themselves. You know im feeling lyk i lost myself. I get lost to somewhere i dunno. Where wealth is the key to be happy. Im just a nerd who begs the world to stop making fun of my life. 

I wish somewhen i will laugh at this post. I wish somewhen i realize how stupid i was. I wish tomorrow i will cherish myself lyk how my parents cherish me. I wish i won't care whats going on in this world and just mind my own business. I wish i can love myself more than i ever hated. I wish i have someone to talk to everytime, and holding me lyk everything's gonna be okay. i miss the time when the only thing i know about this life is just happiness. And what this life aims is to be happy in everydays. 

I miss my childhood.
So bad.
I can't explain.

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