ini ngebuat saya bener-bener bingung. disaat keadaan udah ngedukung saya buat lupain dia, tiba-tiba dia datang lg ke mimpi saya. sy bingung. bingung banget. sy blm pernah dihadepin dalem situasi ini sebelumnya. sy masih inget, hari pertama sy dapet sms dari dia, rasanya seneeeeeeeeeeeeeeng bgt walaupun cuma "oi..." sy sampe speechless mampus laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah lompat-lompat gajelas, sampe setiap mau tidur saya bacain tuh sms. sampe sms yang nyakitin banget, pas sy lg online facebook, tiba-tiba saya lihat in a relationship sy ga ada with nama dianya, sontak saya kaget, gabisa ngapa-ngapain, cuma diem, senyum, NANGIS! udalah sampe sy matiin komputer, terus lari ke kamar, hp saya bergetar
one message received from --------
"blablablabla
itu yg terbaik buat kta skg"
sy diem, kaku, bingung mau bales gimana da saya gapunya pulsa, udah saya lari keluar. itu teh udah jam 9 lebihanlah, sy nyari tukang pulsa, taunya m3 lg gangguan, akhirnya ketemu juga. udah gt lgsg sy bales
sent message:
"sori kalo km blablablaabla saya lewat face to face"
dibales dan ya saya sadarlah emang sy gapantes buat dia. dia masih pantes dapet orang yg jauh lebih baik dari saya, yg bisanya ga cuma ngerepotin dia, bikin stres dia dan yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa begitulah. saya kagetlahya, wajar dong sy kira kita tuh ga ada masalah apa-apa. tp yaudalah, what does love mean if we can't take it just the way it is. i know it's hurting you, but it's killing me, so bleed. sy jg tau kamu gamau ngungkit2 ini lg, sy udah gapunya hak untuk nyampurin urusan kamu lagi, dan ya saya bilang enough, sekalipun masih ada ksempatan buat kembali, saya akan ambil itu, meskiakhirnya harus saya yang terluka.
it isnt what im intended
now i know nothing last in this life
you were hurt by me and always do
moving on will never be the only way to forget you
i will never let this heart to moving on
except, you ask me to stop loving you
i'll do everything for make you better
even i should die before i watch your smile
i know it's hurting you, but you should know it's killing me
you have given this really beautiful memories that i coldn't deny
i know you don't care at me anymore
but ill still stay even you don't need me anymore
now i'm too tired
for waiting your "come back to me" from your lips
i know life must go on
so right now
"when you go, would you even turn to say, i don't love youi like i did yesterday"
say hell-o to goodbyes
regards, with tears
nisa
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