We should admit that it is our favourite part.
I am in a phase where I am being too wishful. And at some point becoming desperate that I forget what I really seek. Perhaps I was not sincere, or I never am, with my own feeling. Or perhaps I've just never been honest enough with my own feelings. I surrender easily to situation, and here I am now.
What is so wrong, actually?
I would like to confess that I'm currently being a hopeless romatic but that would be the most shameless confession. But perhaps I am. A few hours ago I had a curhat ganteng with my fellow DPA (since I was the only girl there), I never thought that I could find that kind of comfort I felt during my junior high year. I just never thought that there will be another time when I feel comfortable being the minority other than with my osis mpk fellow. But I did anyway.
And so the story went. That was a kind of talk I've missed in months, though I did not share that much, but I did not feel neglected. I cherish their story, having seen from another perspective, I now understand.
My anxiety of being hopeless romantic has (hopefully) rapidly decreased (and soon (hopefully) been eradicated) I see that what i've been looking for is not there yet. And I do not need to impose my necessity of wanting to have that particular person at just some friends of mine. I've come to understand that falling ha sits own degree. Some times we just out of the blue stating that we like a person, for several reason and temporaryly being captivated. But that kind of things will soon vanish. It is not what I seek within the process of falling itself.
I want to fall for some one slowly and then all at once. That kind of feeling where the more you know them the more you adore them. And you never got tired from adoring them.
Kak Male said that what we really seek in relationship is neither the beauty nor the amount of dates and poems we got, but the commitment we made with each other. Because what will keep you from being tired of the same person is commitment. It is what keep you going. What gives you strength. Because deep inside you believe that you could trust each other no matter how far distance separates you, no matter how much wrinkles you've got, no matter how you are not as smart as you once were.
Therefore I've come to deduce that we can't just fall for anybody. It would be impossible for us to fall for so many people with the same degree. One must have been higher than others. Because what we seek is comfort. I know it well that what I've been seeking is a particular person whom I never get tired to talk to, that every time we talk we're just never running out of topics to discuss. Who would make me could not care any less about what I wear that day. But it's likely that the time has not yet arrived.
Tonight feels longer that it always is, my brain works harder than it did during day, and I could not tell how grateful I am to have sit at that particular dine, with friends I could learn so many things.
Some says that you cannot really judge a person based on their stories, and so I propose that I would like to know further than I already did, therefore it would be appropriate to state that I know you guys.
Alhamdulillah.
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