Serendipity;

im tired of apologizing for the things i didn't even do. for all of this guilty feelings that haunting me day and night. i hate the fact that i always happen to care too much about people who don't give a damn about my presence. i hate that i always seem to be cruel to people. when i actually am not. is it wrong to be naughty for just one time? is it wrong not to understand people and just effing mind my own business for just once? why do people seem to be over reacting every time i made a mistake? when they didn't even realize theirs.

i sometime think that i am not a good daughter to my parents. for i have been this dumb and all i can do is just asking every thing i want to be accomplished. i always think that i might be their pain in the ass. i might be a massive burden to their life. for all of the things i can't give them as a return. i am moved every time mum picks me up at school or course place. i am moved by babeh's sacrifices. he always gives every things i want. he always gives me an extra pocket money, without me askin him to.

but it is just me or it's true that sometimes parents happen to be a little annoying. when they place themselves as the one who sacrifice a lot and there i am the cruel one who can only wasting their money. it's just that sometimes i feel like i am always in a very wrong position.

some websites say that by blogging you can relieve your stress because you don't give a damn about who would effing read this. nobody i guess. i wanna run to a hall in my high school and scream on the top of my lung. i really do feel miserable at best. no, i ain't seeking for attentions. no, im not a broken home daughter. i'm not a desperate teenager who is in an urgent need of boyfriend or somewhat.

Hi people, my name is nisa, and I'm craving for a peaceful life.

why do you have to give a shit about your weight? why do your surroundings have to give a shit about how you look more than yourself do? why do people hurt their buddies on purpose when what happen in the past is merely an accident. why can't people take care their mouth and their action and just stop hurting their surroundings. because words carve wounds in the deepest heart of a human.

and why can't i be mature enough until this very second?